2209

I got my hair curly.

I went out of my way to see people I can just see in uni.

My husband abandoned me.

1909

I am going to a fucking church this Saturday,

Secrets

In 5 minutes I will delete two games that I have been addicted to for the past two months. Two whole months of my life. On a game. But, no more, enough, no more.

_
I just did.

Dear Cat

Dear Cat,

Maybe I will have you. Maybe I will not.
I change my mind about you once every ten days.

I only feel like you when I'm a little down,
when my fragile ego wails,
when realisations make me feel small and hurt,
when I juggle anger and fear in my soul.

But my husband gives me love, keeps me distracted too much.
I'm not lonely enough to be committed to wanting a cat.

That's my problem.

18/08/2019

I didn't start on my dissertation. I didn't go to Altrinham to shoot establishing scenes for my film. But it's fine.

I went to the park to take pictures of myself hugging trees. I realised I do not like how I look in the photos. So I wanted to take pictures of the tree. The tree that I hugged. I wanted to make a video about the tree. I realised I lost my key. I found out I didn't lose my key. Anyway, I will come back and film the tree more.

I was wondering, what 'life' means. As in, for example, when they say 'life is beautiful', what is included in 'life'? Is a stone included in 'life' when they say 'life is beautiful'? A stone is not a living thing. But if we are talking about a stone that a person sees - contemplates about - even writes a poem about, the stone is part of her life now. So the stone is included in 'life'? 'Life' also includes living things' experiences and perceptions..?

Last week I did a lot of 'how are you doing' and heard a lot of 'bless you'. I went along with all of them. I'm an accomplice now.